English to Japanese Art/Literary Poetry & Literature

Sometimes she put her foot in it even when there were plenty of safe places to step. Sometimes Mama was lost to me, but *her finder went with her. *　Even when Mama buttoned up, she was an open book to me. Mama feared drafts, but was always stirring up a storm. She lived on an expense account and disliked to pay taxes.

『ﾌﾞﾘｷの太鼓』の翻訳ﾁｪｯｸを続けています。母親が亡くなった後のシーンです。Mama was lost to meというのは、恋人と浮気していることを指しているのではないかという気がするのですが、その次がわかりません。